Jacqueline Wilson has expressed concern that British children are growing up too quickly. This comes as new research, published this week, pinpoints 11 as the age at which childhood is officially over. The study reveals that British parents are cutting short their sons’ and daughters’ childhood by buckling to the culture of “pester pressure” and lavishing their children with an array of grown-up privileges.  

The influence of their children’s friends proves a major concern for today’s parents who feel that peer pressure wields far greater power than their parental wisdom. Two in three (67%) of the parents interviewed said that they worried about the sort of crowd their children associate with and 65% went as far to say that they wish their son or daughter was best friends with someone else.

Pushy children, desperate to keep up with their peers, are forcing parents to authorise precocious freedoms that belie their years and starkly contrast the more conservative, traditional upbringings experienced by their parents.

The research has been carried out on behalf of Random House Children’s Books, who publish Jacqueline Wilson’s new book, My Sister Jodie this Thursday (March 6). The study reveals a growing gulf between the parental code of a previous generation and the lenient attitudes of today’s Mums and Dads:

      Almost three-quarters (71%)of parents allow their children to drink alcohol at home before they turn 18, even though their own parents reserved alcohol for adults only

      In an age where Britain has the highest teen pregnancy rate, 45%of parents permit their 16 year old children to sleep the night at a boyfriend or girlfriend’s house, despite the fact that their own parents didn’t give a similar blessing until the age of 18, if at all

      53% of children aged 16 and under are allowed to stay out past 11 o’clock at night, while their parents were expected home earlier

      Over a third (35%) of parents have allowed their under 12s to pierce their ears. When they were growing up, the same number of parents were either forbidden ear piercings or made to wait until their 18th birthday

      Half (54%) of children are permitted to dye their hair and wear make up by the time they’re 14, although their parents remained fresh faced and natural until at least 16

      57% of children are allowed to watch 18 certificate films before the age of 18, compared to 46% a generation ago

While a number of parents thought that their children were responsible and mature enough to receive privileges, a proportion felt that their approval of their children’s actions counted for little. Of the parents questioned, three-quarters (71%)admitted that their children had scant regard for their authority and regularly acted against their will. Among a generation where ‘no’ no longer means ‘no’, 69% of parents also said that their children have approached another relative or guardian in an appeal to have their wish fulfilled, looking for the ‘soft touch’ within the family.

Thinking back to their own childhoods, many parents of today’s under 18s said that their own parents were generally far stricter with them when they were growing up. 72% admitted that they give their children a far easier ride than they were given, with 83%blaming higher disposable income for turning rare treats into everyday purchases.

Jacqueline Wilson, whose new novel My Sister Jodie explores the dynamic between growing children and parents, said: “Nearly all the children in my books want to wear make up and dye their hair and pierce their ears.  Most of my fictional teenagers want to stay out as late as possible and drink alcohol.  Because I write in the first person people often assume that this is my point of view – but I’m actually pretty strict and old fashioned!

“I think children act like adults at an alarmingly early age.  I know girls are desperate to look cool but I wish they didn’t all want to wear very high heels and inappropriately tight trendy clothes.  I’m not saying all under-twelves should wear puff-sleeved dresses and little white socks and tee-strap sandals (as I had to!) but at least you could run about and play properly in them.  I wish children did still play imaginary games, come to that.  It seems so sad that girls feel embarrassed if they want to play with dolls past the age of six.  I played all sorts of elaborate games with my dolls until I was at secondary school!  But life was so different when I was growing up in the fifties.  For the most part children did as they were told.  We might have privately disagreed with our parents or teachers but we didn’t dare argue too much.  Children were supposed to be seen but not heard in those days.   I think it’s good that we listen and want the best for our children nowadays – but perhaps we should remember that they areonly children and need a little loving guidance.”

Case Study 1 – Lenient modern Mum
Fiona Waters is mother to Amy, 13. They live in Hounslow, Middlesex. Fiona feels that it’s important to let Amy make her own lifestyle decisions, she said:

“Amy is a bright and confident young person who has a good sense of right and wrong. I trust her judgement and believe that you learn from your mistakes, so unless she was in trouble or danger I would probably not say too much. From my experience, if your parents say no, it makes you all the more determined to do it, and probably go way over the top. I would never have dreamt, at 13, of wearing make-up or short skirts especially to school, but Amy manages to do very well.

“I also feel quite confident allowing her to go out with her friends; she quite often goes off to a theme park, pictures or even shopping for the day. She is sensible and has a mobile.
You need to have fun while you’re young, and as long as there is respect on both sides there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t.”

Case Study 2 – Traditional tough love Mum
Kathy Kilford is mother to Georgie, 15. They live in Reading, Berkshire. She describes her parenting style as ‘quite traditional’ and thinks that the old fashioned values of respect, politeness and self discipline are still valid and of extreme importance today, as they were when she grew up. Kathy said:

“My approach to bringing up Georgie is very similar to the way I was brought up, although we are always being told by Georgie that we are too strict with her as we insist on always knowing where
she is, who she is with and what time she will be home.  She says that her friends are not treated like two year olds (her words not ours) but we tell her that they are not our children and we only do it because we care. If she breaks the rules – which she does despite knowing the consequences – she is punished with grounding, loss of pocket money, removal of mobile phone or, the ultimate, removal of TV from her bedroom. 

“She is always able to talk to me about issues that she has although she knows that I will not automatically fall on her side as I am only too aware of her flaws.  She has a very strong moral code although she does continue to let herself down by her words and action which is, I think, a true indication that, even at 15, she is still a child.  Maturity is something that comes with age and experience, despite her generation’s insistence that they are old enough to do their own thing.” 

My Sister Jodie by Jacqueline Wilson is on sale from Thursday 6th March 2008, priced £12.99.

Notes to Editors
Research was carried out by Random House Children’s Books amongst a representative sample of 1,170 parents with children aged 18 or under between 8th – 10th February 2008